A plastic made from milk that vanishes in 13 weeks

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I just hope the hapless Dortmund defender Ramy Bensebaini (yesterday’s Football Daily) does not follow my path. I too was directly responsible for four opposition goals in one game: one came from my taking a corner that curved behind every one of my teammates, allowing five of the other lot to advance on our puffing centre-back; another was me slicing a clearance so badly that instead of arcing down the touchline, it went at 90 degrees, landing at the feet of an opponent with enough time and space at the edge of our box for his own Grand Designs project. I never again played any form of competitive sport” – Michael Hann.

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